What Never to Do/Say on Your First Date...

...And What to Do (During The Testing Period).

Much has been written about what we should do (and shouldn't do) during our first date and the early dating days – probationary period. From what I've read, I went into town with some questions and I came back with the following:

1.   Don’t ever badmouth your ex-boyfriend(s):

A crazy woman is judicious with what she reveals on her first date. When asked, she simply says something like “that’s in the past; I have moved on.” Or, “I don’t want to bore you with the long story.” As the Americans would say, “You don’t wanna hear it.”  If you tell him how you would have wanted your ex to behave, your new guy would feel pressured to ‘live up to your expectation’. If you pour invective on your ex, the guy in front of you is already scared what you will say about him when he’s gone, because it looks like he’s looking for an escape route already. After all, an old woman is always not comfortable when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb.

2.   Don’t tell him you've dated 5 or more guys:

If you tell him the number of guys you've dated, and if you are so daft to reveal that they are more than what can be counted on the fingers of one hand, you’re in trouble. He will begin to see you as ‘public property.’ What belongs to everybody belongs to nobody. If you make the mistake of revealing the identities of these ex-boyfriends of yours, and it turns out that he knows them, he will never be at peace each time he runs into the former ‘landlords.’ NB: even throughout the dating period, it is advisable not to reveal the identities of your previous boyfriends. (My opinion)

A friend of mine once made this mistake and she lost her fiancé for the stupidity. She mentioned the name of a popular man that once slept with her, all in her attempt to be ‘truthful’. She was innocently thinking on the ‘religious’ premise that “what will be will be; if he’s met for me, he will take me as I am, forgive me and forget my past.” Dear friend, it is easy to forgive, never easy to forget.

It happened that each time this popular guy was shown on TV; her fiancé would begin to watch a mental video of him on top of his ‘future wife’. When he couldn’t help it any longer, he called it quits.

Some men may be able to handle this, forget the past and move on, (that’s why some men can marry prostitutes) but it is better to err on the side of caution. What the ear does not hear, the heart doesn't grieve over!

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