This is the continuation of the article: "What Never to Do/Say on Your First Date……And What to Do (During The Testing Period)."
(NB: More of these are available in Part Two of the Special Report: “Why Men Dump ‘Nice’ Ladies…”. Get this material to maximize your dating life. Don’t ever let a man devalue you! CLICK HERE TO GET IT.
3. Don’t appear needy or desperate:
The independent woman is an exciting woman. To us, she’s interesting. During the early days of the relationship, you’ve got to avoid anything that makes you look desperate and needy. From phone calls to hanging out, you should be composed and in control. You don’t say ‘yes’ to any invitation; you don’t rush to answer every phone call as if your life depends on it. Don’t be scared of losing him, you don’t even have him yet. Use a measure of scarcity to create value for yourself. If he’s really interested, he won’t run away. Give him some breathing space and take some for yourself too. Be calm and exude self-possession.
4. Acting like his girlfriend too early:
This also looks like you are desperate, but it is so counter-productive and annoying that it should be treated separately. You don’t test the depth of a river with both legs. Some ‘dumb’ girls even start this behaviour on the very first time out with a guy. He introduces you to his friends as his girlfriend and there you are smiling sheepishly, reassuringly. You even do it yourself. (Slap yourself).
You run into his parents or other relatives and you start behaving like a daughter in-law. Now you want to prescribe (I would have used ‘recommend’) the kind of perfume he should be wearing, the colours he should like, etc. Slow down sister, you are getting him scared! This is just dating – getting to know each other, remember? Don’t take things too seriously. He might be your husband in the future, but he’s not even your boyfriend yet. Treat your early dating days as the beginning of a new friendship. If it works out well, fine; if it doesn't work, fine too.
5. Handling promises or vows:
According to Robert Greene in one of his popular books, The Art of Seduction, “Anyone can make a promise. What sets you apart and makes you charming, is your ability to come through in the end, following up your promise with a definite action.” You don’t necessarily have to do it the way you promised, but the key word here is ‘definite action’. If you know you can’t see him at 12p.m., call or text him beforehand, giving him believable reasons. Playing too hard to get is actually a turn-off. You only have to alternate when and how you see him, not cut him off. Don’t make him run, life is already too hard in Nigeria, so don’t add to his injuries.
And this: don’t let him pressure you into making a vow. You might have the best of intentions but the road to hell is paved with good intentions; if you keep breaking promises, your integrity becomes questionable; if you follow up promises with definite actions, it becomes a wonderful expression of your character.
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